Glimmer of Hope

Lately I have been questioning whether I am on the correct path. I've been feeling like I can't do what I need to and thinking that perhaps it just isn't what I am supposed to do or that I am just not capable of completing this task. But you know, the Lord has such a sweet and subtle way of answering those heart questions.

I sat at my computer plucking away at a story that I hoped would become a glimpse of something in Him, since it is Thursday, and I haven't posted a blog yet this week. The phone rang and the number showing on the screen was one I didn't recognize. I answered and knew right away this was a woman who I had told to call this evening. So I left my story and went into the living room to sit in quiet where we could talk.

This woman has a child with some issues that we have also faced with one of our children. She needed encouragement. She needed to hear that she was doing this well. She needed to know that she did not make a mistake and there is hope.

As we talked I shared from the past and she shared from the present. We talked about people in common and ones who were helpful. We laughed at similar memories of different children and took comfort in the similar difficulties that we have faced and survived.

This woman was given my name by someone we both know. A year ago. Kelly gave her my contact info last Dec. and she just contacted me a week ago. She could have called last year or last spring and gotten what she needed from me. But nope. She called this week.

Now you might say, what's that got to do with a glimpse or a glimmer? Well, the topic we discussed and she needed encouragement in is exactly why I am on that proverbial path I was just 3 hours ago fairly sure I was jumping off of. Two weeks ago I hit the same kind of slump and had a friend call with a very similar kind of need. After I talked with her awhile I realized, "oh, this was the point."

So the glimmer is just that, just a glimmer. I am really still struggling under the weight of this and feeling like I can't. But that's just the beginning, because I know I CAN. I can do all things through Jesus Christ who gives me strength (Phil. 4:13), and I know that he has a plan and it is for my good, not harm (Jer. 29:11). He just proved it to me as I spoke His words to a woman I have never met and who waited a year to call, a year so that the moment would meet my need also. There is the glimmer of His glory as he works all things together for the good of (me) (Romans 8:28).

"Will you hold my purse?"

In 1964 I was four years old and one of my very best friends was a pretend friend named Casper the friendly ghost. Perhaps if you're old enough you remember Casper too. Or maybe you saw the more recent movie in the 90's featuring him. My siblings are four and five years younger than me and, being the very social person that I am, it seemed like a natural thing to make up a friend when a real one wasn't available. And Casper, being a ghost and all, fit the bill nicely.

Christmas brought shopping and visiting every year, and that year my Grandmom took me along on some her errands. I don't remember who was with us and there must have been someone else since she didn't drive. Dressed in my snow leggings and coat with matching hat, I carried my little purse in and out of the shops. When Grandmom had completed her shopping we headed to the car. While she struggled to open the door with an arm load of packages and bags I found myself in a dilemma.

"Grandmom can you hold my purse?"

So Grandmom put her packages down in the snow to take my purse for me.

"I need to pick up Casper. He's very cold."

My poor Grandmother was probably ready to trade me for a sane child! And sadly for me, I only remember this story from the retelling over the years. Yet, in that retelling I am reminded of how completely blessed I was to have Pearl Pyle as my grandmother. I was already one of several grandchildren, but she found time to include me. In the snow and cold, she still without question, endeavored to meet my "need".

Lately life has felt a bit cold and my burdens have felt weighty, like I can't quite do what "needs" to get done and I find myself asking the Lord, "Can you hold my purse?" Sometimes he takes it from me and offers me the moment to do what I need to do. Other times he says, "no child, you can do this." And then there are moments where he calls me to choose. But even then he is there to encourage, help, instruct, and give me all that I need. He has included me in his Life and spending my days along side him is enough.

Today is one of those days when my little purse of burdens feels overwhelming and I can't quite do what I "need" to do. There are others who depend on me to do certain things and there is a need for me to get somethings done that feel impossible to accomplish right now, like papers due in short time. There are relationships that need tenderness and loved ones who need direction from me. Then, there is the standard things that everyone has to do like the home chores, the job chores, the errands, and the Christmas list.

So my gracious King who carries so much more than I can imagine and doesn't even need to put his down in the snow, takes mine for the moment so I can put my mind to ease, doing what I think is necessary. He already knows that the worries of today, just like my friend Casper, are really just "pretend" for the Word calls them "light and momentary troubles". He also knows how heavy they feel to me and how real they are in this world. And because He is good and His loving-kindness goes on and on, He steps into my moment with me and lifts the weight of my "purse" so that I can see Him.

What burdens do you carry in your little purse or bundle? Will you allow him to carry them (and maybe even leave them with him?) I must admit that today I need to see a glimpse of Him and to bask in the glimmer that is my hope of glory - Jesus. A glimpse, a glimmer: that's enough for now. For I know He is faithful and coming soon.